Comment on In Loving Memory… by Lorna Efford

Lorna Efford — Mon, 12 Jul 2010 13:56:28 +0000

In response to Barbara’s note above, Barbara, I just got done reading your note and almost everything about your Danny and your life is my son’s and my story. I love you Barbara and I share your pain that is such an unbearable pain. I’m so glad to be a part of your life despite of our painful tragedy of losing our beautiful boys.

Comment on In Loving Memory… by Barbara Lanieri

Barbara Lanieri — Fri, 18 Jun 2010 04:18:26 +0000

i dont know where to write this but Thank you Lorna for the wonderful job you have done with this site. Scanning thru the children here, scrolling down, looking at the young faces smiling when they were well, all with so much to live for, life cut too short. Yes we all must die, but no .. parents are not supposed to bury their children. No parent should have to see their child posted like this. But i see my danny, Daniel john Lanieri, 25 years young. Still, why after 3 years do i get confused and shocked when i see my boy amongst the other children above. Danny was born Oct.13th, 1981 .. He weighed 8 pds 7oz. too big for mommy, Csection was the choice. i was so proud to have given birth to my son. My first child a boy. He became my reason for living. I knew at that moment when i looked into his beautiful eyes, and held him in my arms for the first time the reason why God put me on earth. was to give birth to my little boy. Danny was so smart. he learned so fast. he was the cutest baby in the world and of course i say this because he was mine. i would squeeze his chubby cheeks and kiss him and say fat cheeks so fast that his nickname became fadgicka..if you say fat cheeks really fast some how fadgicka would come out. Danny never forgot that. Once he said to me mom, do you remember what you used to call me, i said a few things but not fadgicka. He reminded me when he was about 23 years old. it was an mom son moment. we were talking to each other like we always did, thru our hearts and eyes. i knew what my son was thinking, but most of all what he was feeling. Danny became a sensitive, deep honest, religious, loyal, loving, artistic, poetic, musician, trustworthy young man right before my eyes. Danny stayed home with me until 3 months before he passed. Mom was always there, never left his side … He kissed me every morning, and everynite before bed, he kissed me hello when he walked in the house or when he left the house .. he often said i love you ma.. funny thing is if he never said it i knew he loved me with all his heart and soul.. if one of his friends cursed in front of me, he would say “hey watch your mouth, my mom is here” he always asked if i was okay. after the divorce, Danny was depressed he didnt want his family to be broken up. He now felt he had to be the man of the house. His father left and went to florida. he missed his dad. he wanted his dad to be near him. he needed a male figure in his life, we didnt have a big family .. no one was there for danny except me and my daughter christine. he watched over his sister, her relationships, me, made sure i didnt get into a bad relationship, so i didnt get into any relationship because danny felt no one was good enough for his mom. he went into the navy, won the navy league award, voted by his peers, danny was the one encouraging his peers to keep going, dont quit, so they voted for danny for this award. danny was an inspiration to his navy mates. he entered sar training, search and rescue.. a 2 week survival mission in California desert. he survived waterboarding, beatings, becoming a POW, buried in a box with a straw to breath thru. he continued on to become a helicopter rescue swimmer in the navy. He would be the one who went to rescue the navy seals. he came home .. everything was different. dad was gone. mom was depressed over the divorce, christine getting A+ in school, trying so hard to please and make everything okay. in the beginning danny had lots of friends went to clubs, loved to dance, went to NYC clubs, the hamptons, nice group of kids most of them. at one point i had a nitemare, i ran into my sons room, i was crying so hard, i dreamt my son had died. Danny smiled sweetly at me, holding me, “mom im not dead, im here, right here next to you” i cried so hard that nite. danny had a smile that would calm your fears, he wore his heart on his sleeve when he smiled. he knew the word friend. he would leave at 2am 3am what ever time it was if a friend needed help. danny gave great advice. he read the bible, his favorite angel was st. micheal the archangel. his bedroom was adorned with the usual decor of video games, posters, stereo, computer, but there stood his statue of St. Micheal the Archangel on his dresser with his rosary wrapped around his angel, and his scapula.. which he was buried with. there sat his bible on his desk, and there hung his cross above his bed. slowly danny became a recluse. he wasnt fun anymore. friends were far and few. some came by, stayed a bit but left. danny watched movies with me all the time. we would sit there and danny would open up the dvd case and stand it up as like this is the movie of the nite. we both would sit there eating sunflower seeds together.. he always picked the movies, i would say no i dont want to see that, he would say “just watch it mom” at the end of the movie i would end up either crying or shouting :bravo! Nothing was with out a purpose. danny lived his life with purpose. he had dreams .. so many dreams, a pilot… for a large commercial airline. he flew helicopters, he wanted to fly jets. He loved the NYJ new york jets, ny yankees, he went to many jet games, wore his favorite jets jersey at the games, had a tatoo of the new york yankees on his arm. at 16 he came home with that one, what a surprise that was! well time came for me to move, the divorce agreement on my part was to make sure danny was okay. wait till he was 25 years old. then i would be bought out of the house. amd danny would get his settlement of 35,000 dollars from an accident that had broke his eye socket which ws repaired with a titanium mesh plate under his orbit. he received his check on Oct 13th 2006.. i knew then i would be leaving and moving with mydaughter christine to a condo. I asked danny to come with me, get out of the house, as he was alone with his dog bandit. he wanted to stay in the family home, so his father told him to move into the basement apt. and the upstairs would be rented out. i moved out November 2006 after 18 years in my family home. there was no option for me to buy the house. i wasnt given one. so i had to leave. danny stayed. 3 months later he passed away during the early morning hours of feb.10th 2007. 3 months after i left. he had overdosed on oxycontin. he went to sleep and never woke up again. There was a female with him, i found out after he had gone to a father of one of his friends down the road that nite, talking in past tense, depressed. the father told me later it sounded like danny was talking about suicide. then he went to his friends house that nite.. i heard they smoked pot. danny was asking his friend for help, that he had crazy thoughts in his head. suicide. he asked his friend to stay with him, get him through the nite. the friend said no. danny left there and went to the basement .. where he felt far,far away as i learned after. he asked 2 friends to come over, a male friend and a female friend. they stayed with him that nite. the guy friend left about 1am. the girl stayed. they were sleeping. Bandit began barking loudly ..odd. bandit dosent bark, he was licking dannys hand, the girl said danny wake up, i think bandit has to go out. he was crazy, bandit. licking dannys hand. his buddy. i heard, i wasnt there, the girl pushed dannys shoulder to wake him up, she realized something was wrong, danny wouldnt wake up, she didnt call 911, she called the guy who was over the nite before, he came over turned danny over to do cpr, it was too late they say. then the guy friend called 911. it was too late? i dont know what really happened that nite. i wish the parent, the friend he drove to that nite begging for help, no one called me. Danny was clean, straight… i heard he found oxycontins in an old jacket, danny never wore a coat, i would always say since danny was little danny put a coat on!!! any way what i heard was danny found pills in his coat, he had smoked pot earlier, because he was straight, he had gone thru withdrawal on his own, the sweats, the pain, by himself, i heard he said i can do this, i was in the navy, i can do this. he did. but that fateful nite, he took the same dosage he would take when he was addicted. too much for his body clean. he overdosed on the same dose he would take when he was high. i was notified at about 3 15 pm feb 10th. the coroner said danny passed between the hours of 6am and 11am. There was blood .. a thin stream coming out of his left nostril, and a thin stream coming out of the corner of his left side of his mouth. a small stain had gathered on the sheets i had bought him for christmas. he passed in the house he loved so much and couldnt leave. legal drugs, filled by corrupt pharmacists, prescriptions written by corrupt doctor.. all illegal, made to look legal. they both are in jail for 17 years. they kept my son filled up with drugs. my son received his settlement of 35,000 dollars on his 25th birthday, 3 months earlier. danny left this world with 2 dollars in his pocket. the doctor and pharmacist cleaned his bank account out. he was found guilty. Dr. Morgan. sports medicine. island pharmacy had hired the pharmacist who was in cahoots with the doctor. thru seizing of computers, shuttingdown the pharmacy to look at records.. they found the culprits. just a dent in the horror of legal drugs gone deadly. Daniel john Lanieri you are loved, i only wish you had gotten married and had a child that i could spoil and love so much… you will never be a memory. you are here now. in my heart until the day i see you again my fadgicka.. i love you danny. and i miss my best friend. my son.

Comment on In Loving Memory… by Lynnlo

Lynnlo — Thu, 17 Jun 2010 15:55:41 +0000

This is a lovely site you have put together here, very sad but its nice to see what you have done Lorna…….we love you all….

Comment on Signs and symptoms of overdosing! by debra

debra — Thu, 13 May 2010 13:31:33 +0000

i alomost over dosed last night…it was horrible…pillz bad! all drugz r bad….im never gunna touch another thing like that…

Comment on How Do Kids Get Rx Drugs? by tom meyer

tom meyer — Sun, 14 Feb 2010 14:50:01 +0000

OD Deaths near Madison in the last week include a 12 year old and a 16 year old. Middle schoolers say you can buy anything in the halls of their school. How quick would we act to shut down a business, or charter school, if this level of activity was discovered? But yet we put our kids on a bus and send them to these environments.

Comment on In Loving Memory… by Someone who cares

Someone who cares — Mon, 23 Feb 2009 22:33:22 +0000

These young people have so much going for them and why did they have to go so soo. :o( I know they are all in a place where there is peace.

Comment on In Loving Memory… by Mary Jo

Mary Jo — Sun, 01 Feb 2009 21:02:30 +0000

Thank you so much for sharing Seans story with us and being willing to walk down that path in an attitude of service so that others may learn.
God Bless!
” A Mom who knows”

Comments for LBD